One can not choose a time or a place where a man makes the conscious decision to stop taking a woman's feelings and/or safety into consideration. I think that it starts with the way that the said man was raised. What kind of life did he lead? How did his parents treat him? How did his father treat his mother? How did his mother treat him? How did she conduct herself? There are so many things to take into consideration when trying to solve something so mysterious. Ultimately, I believe that it goes back to the way his father treated his mother and sisters. Typically, if a child witnesses the correct way to love, respect and cherish his mother and sisters, he will generally carry that knowledge on into adulthood. The opposite is also true. If a child, be it male or female, caries childhood experiences into adulthood.
PRIME EXAMPLE:
*Johnny was three years old when he started to notice his mother crying after being locked away in the room with his father. This was something that he didn't understand but it made him sad whenever he saw his mother in tears. As the years went on, Johnny noticed that that his mother was crying more, his parents were no longer arguing in hushed tones. Johnny could hear them arguing about everything such as money, paying bills and accusations from his mother that his father was cheating. When Johnny was fifteen, he witnessed his father hit his mother and knock her to the floor. His father left his mother lying there, grabbed his car keys and left the house. Johnny helped his mother to her feet. He grabbed tissue from the bathroom to dry her eyes. Several times after that incident, Johnny asked his mother why she let his dad treat her that way. She'd told him that his father was going through something but he loved both of them very much. Johnny didn't know how mistreating a person could mean love. Over the next few years, Johnny witnesses more and more violent incidents. He tried stepping in several times, but each time, his mother and father ended up upset with him. His father would threatened to hit him. His mother would jump in the way and beg and plead with the man to not touch their baby. Johnny couldn't believe what was playing out before his eyes. Later, his mother would yell at him about provoking his father and claimed that Johnny was only causing more stress for his father. Johnny could understand why she was making up excuses for the beatings that she received from his father. After this, Johnny could barely look at his mother. He wandered why she would put aside her self respect and simply allow his father, a man he had no more love for, treat her like trash. Why she had allowed herself to become a punching bag was beyond Johnny. He wished that his parents would just sit down and talk about their problems instead of fighting all the time. When Johnny turned eighteen, he moved out of his parent's home. Two years later, he was in college and having problems with his girlfriend. They were sitting in his car and he found himself so angry at her words that he hit her. The both of them were shocked at his actions. His girlfriend left him after that. She'd said that she refused to be with a man that handled his problems with a fist. Johnny had two options: get help for his anger issues or continue down the same destructive path like his father before him. Johnny watched her wipe away her tears as she walked back to her dorm. He thought about his mother and how she had taken beatings from his father for more years than he cared to remember. Sure, Rachel had been good to him but at the end of the day, in his mind, b!t%*$ came a dime a dozen. If she couldn't handle the man that he was, then f%^k her.
I'm not saying that Johnny's experiences are typical. It's only an example. But if a child grows up in violence than he has only two choices. He could become a product of that violence or rise above it all. In the beginning, Johnny was confused about the relationship between his parents, after that, he wanted to protect his mother from the violence. In the end, because his mother let her child witness her constant sacrifice of her self-worth, her son went on to think of women as nothing more than a ship passing in the night, as they come and go.
Follow The Era of the Gentleman for new insights on the men of today. Questions? Comments? Leave them below. If you have issues or are facing violence in your life, reach out to family and friends. Get help. There is no better time than today.
*Johnny is a fictional character and his life experiences are also fictional.
PRIME EXAMPLE:
*Johnny was three years old when he started to notice his mother crying after being locked away in the room with his father. This was something that he didn't understand but it made him sad whenever he saw his mother in tears. As the years went on, Johnny noticed that that his mother was crying more, his parents were no longer arguing in hushed tones. Johnny could hear them arguing about everything such as money, paying bills and accusations from his mother that his father was cheating. When Johnny was fifteen, he witnessed his father hit his mother and knock her to the floor. His father left his mother lying there, grabbed his car keys and left the house. Johnny helped his mother to her feet. He grabbed tissue from the bathroom to dry her eyes. Several times after that incident, Johnny asked his mother why she let his dad treat her that way. She'd told him that his father was going through something but he loved both of them very much. Johnny didn't know how mistreating a person could mean love. Over the next few years, Johnny witnesses more and more violent incidents. He tried stepping in several times, but each time, his mother and father ended up upset with him. His father would threatened to hit him. His mother would jump in the way and beg and plead with the man to not touch their baby. Johnny couldn't believe what was playing out before his eyes. Later, his mother would yell at him about provoking his father and claimed that Johnny was only causing more stress for his father. Johnny could understand why she was making up excuses for the beatings that she received from his father. After this, Johnny could barely look at his mother. He wandered why she would put aside her self respect and simply allow his father, a man he had no more love for, treat her like trash. Why she had allowed herself to become a punching bag was beyond Johnny. He wished that his parents would just sit down and talk about their problems instead of fighting all the time. When Johnny turned eighteen, he moved out of his parent's home. Two years later, he was in college and having problems with his girlfriend. They were sitting in his car and he found himself so angry at her words that he hit her. The both of them were shocked at his actions. His girlfriend left him after that. She'd said that she refused to be with a man that handled his problems with a fist. Johnny had two options: get help for his anger issues or continue down the same destructive path like his father before him. Johnny watched her wipe away her tears as she walked back to her dorm. He thought about his mother and how she had taken beatings from his father for more years than he cared to remember. Sure, Rachel had been good to him but at the end of the day, in his mind, b!t%*$ came a dime a dozen. If she couldn't handle the man that he was, then f%^k her.I'm not saying that Johnny's experiences are typical. It's only an example. But if a child grows up in violence than he has only two choices. He could become a product of that violence or rise above it all. In the beginning, Johnny was confused about the relationship between his parents, after that, he wanted to protect his mother from the violence. In the end, because his mother let her child witness her constant sacrifice of her self-worth, her son went on to think of women as nothing more than a ship passing in the night, as they come and go.
Follow The Era of the Gentleman for new insights on the men of today. Questions? Comments? Leave them below. If you have issues or are facing violence in your life, reach out to family and friends. Get help. There is no better time than today.
*Johnny is a fictional character and his life experiences are also fictional.
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